Musings by Madeline: WHOSE CONVERSATION IS THIS?, or, What Conversation Hearts Would Say If They Were Really Being Honest

I'm not a Valentine's Day person. Not just because I'm bitter and single, but because I find it stupid that you need a designated day to tell the people you love how important they are to you. (Although, truthfully, these days it seems that being "against" V-Day is just as cliche as being "for" it.) But even though I'm anti-Cupid, I am fiercely pro-chocolate, so I take advantage of all of the delicious confections that are displayed in every store I set foot in after New Years Day. Who cares if they're wrapped in vomit-inducing pink heart wrapping? They still taste delicious.

The other day I bought a bag of conversation hearts. I don't even really like them that much since they're not made of chocolate, but for some reason (probably the fact that I hadn't eaten lunch yet) they looked tasty, so I threw them in my cart. They're a classic Valentine candy, and they'll only be around for a little while, right? Whatever. As I was eating a few and reading their messages, I couldn't help but think about how inaccurate the "conversations" printed on these little heart-shaped wafers are. "E-MAIL ME?" "FRIEND 4EVER?" "GOOD 4 U?" No one says this crap anymore! If people were ever to try to use these candies to have a "conversation," they would fail. These don't reflect real relationships at all. (Then again, neither does the entire concept of Valentine's Day, but whatever.) So, sitting alone in my apartment eating these sugary (somewhat disgusting, which I had forgotten) hearts, I came up with some, er, realistic sayings that I think they should print. Then, because I'm an even bigger loser, I made my own candy hearts using this site and voila! Realistic candy hearts!